Saturday, March 22, 2008

extravangza EXTRAVAGANZA!! pt.1

I think I've got it! Question: What's the easiest thing to write about? Answer: Yourself! I credit my inspiration for this particular blog to the paragon of narcissism, Oprah. Every year, Oprah holds a special edition of her self-titled show known as "Oprah's Favorites." Sadly, I don't have enough money (or the cloning ability) to give one of each of my favorite to a certian demographic that I happen to like this year. I will, however, dedicate this blog to my momentary favorite demographic:

Japanese Rockabilly! I don't really get it. American Rockabilly is acceptable...I like hair gel and stand up bass. I feel like the Japanese may be getting too involved. It seems as though they let themselves get too wrapped up in their current trends. Remember how much they freaked out about EVERY SINGLE BOYBAND? Slow down, guys.
Okay, let's cut to the chase. My favorites are in no particular order, but should be taken to the deepest corners of the heart.

Leslie Hall

Iowa superstar. Keeper of the Gems. Owner/operator/founder of the Gem Sweater Museum. Lady Rapper. 200 pounds of FUCKING AWESOME.
It's hard to find words for Miss Hall. There's a lot to talk about! Her band, Leslie and the Ly's, features Leslie herself as well as two other girls who really don't matter (I think one's name is Reba, as mentioned in the lyrics to the song "How We Go Out.") Aside from the fantasitic "lady rhymes" that Leslie presents during a Leslie and the Ly's performance...
There's nothing better then a pair of gold pants; skin tight fabric and enough room to dance.

Leslie shows off her one of a kind dance moves. And when I say one of a kind, I mean scissor kicks, jumping, yowling, flailing, and rapid shaking of the entire body. I can't resist. Leslie Hall is truely a multimedia experience:

In addition to her role as lead singer of Leslie and the Ly's, Leslie maintains The Gem Sweater Museum. This museum features over 300 gem sweaters that Leslie has specifically named. These names include Gypsy Leather, Brown Bear Looking Glass, and Goblit From Bethleham (sic). Here's a quick sample of the gallery featured on

Now, I could continue to ramble on and on about my favorite internet celebrity, but let's move on to something a little more personal.

Dirty, Almost Gross, Peculiar-Looking Lead Singers
I think that what trips my trigger (Leslie Hall reference!) about this small, yet elite group of menfolk is their ability to mutate from obviously inebriated to quite acceptable. Let's compare and contrast. No Venn Diagrams needed.

God save the Queen, it's Pete Doherty! Lead singer of The Libertines and Babyshambles, this famed everything addict can go from enjoying a post-8 ball drink with Kate to looking adorbale in his rugby polo. Cheers, Pete!

Here comes Jack White, a jack of all trades. For some reason, Jack did nothing to clear up whether or not Meg White was his sister, wife, or both (she's actually his ex wife...AWWKKWAAARDD). Despite this little tiff, Jack has married a model, had 2 children, produced a Loretta Lynn album, and acted alongside Jude Law and Nicole Kidman. This resume proves that our present culture isn't that focused on overall appearance. I take that back. Maybe they haven't seen the darker side of Mr. White.

There's a point that seperates reinventing yourself because your emotional changes must reflect your outward appearance and when you've just been smoking a mix of heroin and cocaine and every clothing item you see looks like the technicolor dreamcoat that you've gotta have. This means YOU, Ryan Adams. I know, I know, he's cleaned up, but let's think back to ah-hem, pre 2004.

I need to make a few notes on this one. You'll understand why Ryan Adams is obviously inebriated in Music In High Places: Ryan Adams if you watch it. The title is more suiting than you'd think. Secondly, Ryan Adams is approximately 5 foot 7. Aw!

Insulting to the feline species or cute? I'm not sure. I am positive, however, of my love for this website. Though it is not updated as frequently as I'd like (because I can't get enough!!!), icanhascheezburger features pictures of cats doing funny things. Already fantastic, right? It gets better. These pictures have captions written in internet lingo! 4W350M3 (AWESOME)!!!111! Just as every rose has its thorn, icanhascheezburger features stupid pictures of stupid inanimate objects like chairs from time to time. These faults aside, this website hailing "lolcats 'n' funny pictures" is an easy way to waste a solid three hours. We all want to be in the loop, so here's a quick rundown of some icanhaszheezburger inside jokes.

  • Ceiling Cat is God. He lives in the ceiling (obviously), which is heaven, and periodically condemns bad cats and any dogs to the basement. Ceiling Cat also appears in the clouds sometimes. Like they say, Ceiling Cat works in mysterious ways. Think of it as an internet version of Narnia.

  • I don't know the origin, but on icanhascheezburger, walruses love buckets. They will do anything to find "teh bukkit." They tell colorful tales of "teh bukkit." For me, this is the joke that you don't get until you get a lot older.

  • Cats are mimes! It's pretty obvious when you see it, but on icanhascheezburger, cats are constantly doing invisible things. Invisible putting on pants, invisible beer, invisible segway. At first, these cats appear to be running from something or are in action; do not be mistaken. They are performing acts that will either bring them close to or farther away from Ceiling Cat.

I'm sure that you're wondering what I'm talking about. I'll close this entry with exhibits of icanhascheezburger and then a closing.

I like more than just these things, which is why I plan to continue this blog! So, I'll call this extravaganza EXTRAVAGANZE!! (thank for your helpnot) pt.1 until further notice. Teaser? I think yes!
To come:
wedding showers
my dog
the "cuffed jean" trend

Friday, March 21, 2008

I'm writing about how I don't know what to write about.
All I have so far is that I want the title of the blog to end with the word EXTRAVANGZA!
So, I think maybe seven people tops read this. If you are one of those seven, begin to conjure a brainstorm.