Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
4)As much as you might want to burn down your high school at some points, just finish it so that you can look back and laugh.
I would describe my entire high school experience has love/hate. I made some great friends and hated some people. I packed some great lunches and hated the school's mozzerella sticks. I slept in a lot of classes and disrupted others with excess enthusiasm. For as many times as I've wanted to poop in the hallway, I've gone out on the weekend and laughed until I had to scream that I was going to throw up. I doubt that any 8th grader will ever read this, but if one does, just grit your teeth through the hard parts and enjoy the fun that you do have.
Is this when Green Day should play?
No, just Peaches. Loud and in front of the principal.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
This is sort of like when I watched Borat and felt genuine sadness when his producer stole his passport and left him. I know that this lolcat isn't REALLY having a party, but you know, maybe I see a little bit of myself here. Maybe you should remember that lolcats(Reillys) have feelings. Maybe you should've thrown the lolcat a surprise party so that he or she would not have known that there was a disappointing turnout. Maybe you should've just let the lolcat keep his or her passport but not talk to him or her when they get home.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Not Just Popcorn!
Located in Edinburgh, Indiana, this store is for people who like to taste...anything. If you want to spend $75 on 6.5 gallons of gourmet flavored popcorn, this is also your place. Not Just Popcorn has your normal flavors...caramel...I feel like that's the only normal popcorn flavor. Some of the other flavors include "autumn splendor (what the hell)," "cinderella (what do fairy tales taste like?)," mai tai, bacon and cheese pizza, dill pickle, blueberry cheesecake, creamsicle, and Tom Collins (HUMAN FLAVORED?!). I've been into Not Just Popcorn once and honestly, it's sort of a dreamland. Everything there is locally grown except for the dark chocolate (the woman that works there told me this quite enthusiastically). Oh, and if you want to purchase pounds and pounds of kernals, Not Just Popcorn sells those by the pound.
One thing about Not Just Popcorn sort of weird me out, and that is the flavors that are more like actual food. By food, I mean an entree, not a desert. Blooming Onion, Mesquite Bar-B-Q, Nacho, and Cajun seem sort of weird. Earlier, I mentioned Bacon and Cheese Pizza...and now I wonder what you use to flavor something like bacon. I don't think I'm into bacon fat on my popcorn. This is a litter Berry's Every Flavor Beans to me. Be really careful or you might get vomit flavored.
I'm not doggin' on you, though, Not Just Popcorn! I love myself some Poppycock-flavored popcorn now and then!
Now, when I say "paranormal-themed television," I mean ghost shows. Paranormal State, Ghosthunters, and Most Haunted, more specifically. Foremost, I'll highlight the characters that stand out to me.
Steve here is the tech manager on the Sci Fi Channel's show, Ghost Hunters. Come on, look how dedicated he is! TAPS hat, TAPS factory shirt, TATTOO OF A GHOST (check out that forearm)?!
NOTE: I don't know if that's a ghost or not. It's probably his niece or something. Calm down.
I really just think that Steve is cool. He hangs out in front of the computer while the other two guys on the show (and sometimes Brian, the one that everyone hates) slink around and freak out a lot. I mean, Steve doesn't even get out of the TAPS van sometimes. If I had Steve's job, I would use those walkie talkies to my advantage. "WATCH OUT BEHIND YOU!!" But you know, Steve's above that. He takes this stuff seriously. TAPS is not "a glorified 1-900 number for paranormal activity" (that was a quote from the bald TAPS guy) and Steve upholds that reputation, one really boring hour in the van at a time.
Or should I say LIZA MANELLI?
Yvette is the star of Most Haunted, which is the British version of Ghost Hunters. Think of it at the English vs. Brit versions of
The Office. It's better in the sense that the humor is dry and Yvette's eyes look sweet in night vision. I like that Yvette uses Ouiji boards a lot and thinks up politically correct names for the spooks (i.e. ASTRO BEINGS circa last year's Most Haunted Live). Overall, Yvette is extreme in that she gets attacked by ghosts all the time and has an easy Halloween costume (Liza Minelli, duh).
It's been a while since this happened, but I remember certain things. Devin decided that he wanted his lip repeirced. Josh volunteered. Devin called me explaining that "JOSH JUST SAID THAT HE'D PIERCE MY LIP! IF I'M GOING TO TRUST ANYONE, I TRUST JOSH!"
So then Josh did what you see to the left. Devin quickly found that nothing else fits in the hole the size of a safety pin, so he went to Texas Roadhouse.
This didn't turn out quite as colorfully as it appears in my mind, but think about it. And Josh, if you ever read this, I think I'd trust you to do something like this too.
I've got a little notecard of things I like, but see, it's all the way upstairs. I'll update this subject periodically (aka when I feel like it), but for now, let's move forward.
Yvette is the star of Travel Channel's Most Haunted, which is really like England's version of
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Japanese Rockabilly! I don't really get it. American Rockabilly is acceptable...I like hair gel and stand up bass. I feel like the Japanese may be getting too involved. It seems as though they let themselves get too wrapped up in their current trends. Remember how much they freaked out about EVERY SINGLE BOYBAND? Slow down, guys.
It's hard to find words for Miss Hall. There's a lot to talk about! Her band, Leslie and the Ly's, features Leslie herself as well as two other girls who really don't matter (I think one's name is Reba, as mentioned in the lyrics to the song "How We Go Out.") Aside from the fantasitic "lady rhymes" that Leslie presents during a Leslie and the Ly's performance...
There's nothing better then a pair of gold pants; skin tight fabric and enough room to dance.
Now, I could continue to ramble on and on about my favorite internet celebrity, but let's move on to something a little more personal.
I think that what trips my trigger (Leslie Hall reference!) about this small, yet elite group of menfolk is their ability to mutate from obviously inebriated to quite acceptable. Let's compare and contrast. No Venn Diagrams needed.
God save the Queen, it's Pete Doherty! Lead singer of The Libertines and Babyshambles, this famed everything addict can go from enjoying a post-8 ball drink with Kate to looking adorbale in his rugby polo. Cheers, Pete!
Insulting to the feline species or cute? I'm not sure. I am positive, however, of my love for this website. Though it is not updated as frequently as I'd like (because I can't get enough!!!), icanhascheezburger features pictures of cats doing funny things. Already fantastic, right? It gets better. These pictures have captions written in internet lingo! 4W350M3 (AWESOME)!!!111! Just as every rose has its thorn, icanhascheezburger features stupid pictures of stupid inanimate objects like chairs from time to time. These faults aside, this website hailing "lolcats 'n' funny pictures" is an easy way to waste a solid three hours. We all want to be in the loop, so here's a quick rundown of some icanhaszheezburger inside jokes.
Ceiling Cat is God. He lives in the ceiling (obviously), which is heaven, and periodically condemns bad cats and any dogs to the basement. Ceiling Cat also appears in the clouds sometimes. Like they say, Ceiling Cat works in mysterious ways. Think of it as an internet version of Narnia.
- I don't know the origin, but on icanhascheezburger, walruses love buckets. They will do anything to find "teh bukkit." They tell colorful tales of "teh bukkit." For me, this is the joke that you don't get until you get a lot older.
- Cats are mimes! It's pretty obvious when you see it, but on icanhascheezburger, cats are constantly doing invisible things. Invisible putting on pants, invisible beer, invisible segway. At first, these cats appear to be running from something or are in action; do not be mistaken. They are performing acts that will either bring them close to or farther away from Ceiling Cat.
I'm sure that you're wondering what I'm talking about. I'll close this entry with exhibits of icanhascheezburger and then a closing.
I like more than just these things, which is why I plan to continue this blog! So, I'll call this extravaganza EXTRAVAGANZE!! (thank for your helpnot) pt.1 until further notice. Teaser? I think yes!
the "cuffed jean" trend
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Thief, mess, junkie, charmer, artist? You've got my $4! I know that there has to be icky British teeth behind that nonchalant smug and a pale, pale complexion beyond the black and white photography, but my intrigue is powerful. After reading the article about Pete's house that he rents unfurnished that he furnishes with dirty clothes, blankets (but no mattresses), kittens, and kitten poop, his lies about getting sober that even the journalist caught him in, his manic tendencies, and how to actually pronounce his last name (Dock-erty), I had to know more. Oh, and his music, imagine that, popular culture! I don't know why I'm drawn to Mr. Doherty...probably the same reasons I have that crush on Jack White. He's dirty and weird and writes dirty, weird rock. I googled the fellow during newspaper and eventually moved to video search, at which point, I found this gem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0Im0tkM8tk .
Copy and paste is being weird, sorry. Here's a list of what I want to point out:
- Pete's outfit for the acceptance speech.
- Pete's face and body languge while reading the poem that says "I'm really blazed, that's why I'm this enthusiastic."
- The unenthusiastic behavior of...that other guy and how obvious it is that reading this stupid poem was not his idea.
- Pete going in for one on the lips.
- The sound Pete makes at the beginning of the song.
- The sound Pete makes at 3:57.
- How Pete is obviously inebriated but manages to put on a shirt and pull off an impressive guitar solo.
- That Pete repeats the 3:57 sound at 4:30.
- How adorable/innocent the bassist is!
But I mean, he's still lovable, right? Come on, look!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
The BMW/Lexus Assbag
The speed limit is 70. If you're going between 70 and 80, you've not a problem. However, the BMW/Lexus Assbag ignores the rules of nonfatal driving. This driver puts special work into making sure that everyone knows that his car costs more than a semester's worth of Ivy League education by pulling a solid 90mph and agreeing to only slow down once they have come within three inches of the bumper ahead of them. This threatening proximity is rivaled only by the ability of the BMW/Lexus Assbag to swerve all over the lane in which they are trying to advance. This is a sort of reminder to the car three inches from the BMW/Lexus Assbag and that Assbag is still traveling at hyper speed and will use the add-on in the BMW/Lexus that turns this luxury vehicle into a luxury monster truck. Regardless of the sex of any particular BMW/Lexus Assbag, they are sure to increase their apparent insanity through the continuous use of a Bluetooth headset. If one holds the horsepower to momentarily align with the BMW/Lexus Assbag, they will at first see the BMW/Lexus Assbag having what looks to be a very important conversation with his/her self. After the BMW/Lexus Assbag passes this driver on his or her other side, the driver will then realize that the BMW/Lexus Assbag has complimented their irrational driving with something more distracting than their diamond-plated navigation system: hands free communication! If you come in contact with the BMW/Lexus Assbag, accept financial inferiority and get out of the way. At least your pants are a little more snug.
The Grand Prix Challanger
The Grand Prix is a type of race controlled by the European-based racecar league, Formula 1, with contending sponsors including really European things lie Ferrari, Mercedes, Porche, Vodafone, and Redbull. While there is a Grand Prix race in Indianpolis, these races mainly take place in places such as Monte Carlo, Budapest, and Valenica. Not only does the Pontaic Grand Prix look nothing like a Grand Prix competitor, the drivers of the Pontaic Grand Prix do not present the image of someone hoping to catch the race via satellite from Bahrain rather than Daytona. These drivers channel their inner Ricky Bobbys by making sure that they arrive before everyone else to anywhere because we all know that if you're not first, you're last. The Grand Prix Challanger is the blue collar BMW/Lexus Assbag, driving in a painfully aggressive manner that just so happens to be at or after your off ramp. The Grand Prix Challanger has a harder time maintaining speed than the BMW/Lexus Assbag, however. This could either be the result of a lowered level of intimidation (you're not afraid that it's your boss) or because the driver can't find the song on their Brooks and Dunn tape that gets them the most fired up. Either way, the logic of the Grand Prix Challanger is skewed. Mistubishi Galants don't come with full length mirrors. Dodge Caravans do not typically travel is large groups across the desert. The Grand Prix Challanger somehow missed the mark on not taking the model name of your car seriously.
That's all for the moment. I've got more drivers to attack, but need to do some brainstorming and ignite my inner cynist.